


The Fell Dragon's return

by Falco276



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: AJRA, Fishsticks, Future Europe, Humor, Newspapers, Randomness, This is STUPED, egg salts, slumber vacations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5252609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falco276/pseuds/Falco276
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That's right bitches! Grima is back to haunt Ylisse, but then a stupid argument about Fishsticks and Newspapers ensue.<br/>Crack fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fell Dragon's return

**Hey guys, this was just a random FE:A one shot that came up in my mind while staying awake during midnight.**

**Deciding it would be an amazing fic, I decided to scribble the whole thing on my notes app on my iphone 4s when I thought about posting this on Ao3 the next day.**

**It is my first FE:A fic. I NEVER played the game but I read the game through the chapter scripts on FE wiki and read a couple of fan fictions based on the game's storyline.**

**And this takes place in AJRA (Americajapandaropesiafrica; i Know that's quite ludicrious to say but proud to be a citizen of it) the same setting where Smash Wars takes place in.**

**To refer to the explonation of my POV for Smash Bros it is found here:<http://archiveofourown.org/works/4306992/chapters/11925116>**

**For the maps of AJRA and Future Europe can be found in the beginning note from Smash Wars:<http://archiveofourown.org/works/4306992/chapters/11694001>  
**

**Otherwise, find out why Grima REALLY returned! xD**

**Omgs, enjoy! xD**

* * *

 

During the battle of Ylisse and Plegia, Grima comes back this time as a spirit after 1000 years of taking a slumber vacation since the first "Egg salt" took him down in victory.

Thanks to Shulk with the power to foresee events in the future known as Ether, Lucina, Robin, and Chrom were the first to strike the newspaper loving fell dragon completely- exclude slumber vacations.

With lightning adorning the rooftops of castle Ylisse, there was no match of how to get rid of the spirit unless the six red eyes and dark spikes pierced your inner soul.

"I'm back bitches!" the fell dragon exclaimed, removing his sunglasses and Hawaiian Luau flower necklace.

"There's no time to play games, Grima! Show yourself now!" Lucina dodged a black spike speeding towards her, only for her sword to completely slash through the dangerous ghostly projectile.

With father and daughter demanding the fell dragon to show up, it was too late.

A lightning-charged Levin sword poked through the fishstick lover's waist. 

Lucina, quickly angered and shocked at the sight of her father in defeat, decided to storm to the tactican's apartment to finally end this once and for all.

With Grima's voice still hitting her mind, she tried not to lose focus of driving and neatly parked her 2011 ice blue Honda CRV behind the pie lover's 2007 nighthawk black pearl metallic Volkswagen Touran- (Ylisse banned every VW car except for Robin's which was under a decision of keep or get rid off, seeing that the modern Mark of Grima was now stamped on every VW car which in reality was the Volkswagen logo anyway.)- Falchion stabbed the co driver's window as she pulled it out with force, twirling around to continue to make her way to the fifth floor, whipping the door open to see all three engaged in a conversation.

"What the hell?" Cia said, startled to see Falchion pointed right towards Robin, who suspected what was going on, she then suddenly remembered the law which her father completely came up with:

_No weapons allowed unless a war is confirmed._

Sheathing back Falchion, she sighed and pulled out her 3DS, opening her save file in order to revive her father back to life.

"Ha! Thanks to Long John Silver's Hero Fishstick, I'm back to life!" Chrom exclaimed, the fishstick version of Falchion, mocking Grima to make a move, "Sorry Grima but your time has come to an end! Thanks to Naga granting me endless coupons to Nordsee, I see the power of the Fishstick against Newspaper!"

Grima suddenly remarked with a chilling voice, "You dare go against my favourite past time!? I should burn down the whole damn city you currently rule!- Yeah, that make a perfect headline to my next issue!"

"But I'm the Exalt of Ylisse and AJRA! I can do whatever I want and that applies to the law of banning newspapers from YOUR hands!"

Grima sighed, "I have wings, dumbass."

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Chrom restated in a flash as he got down to buisness by kindly offering the fell dragon a bite of his "egg salted" fishsticks.

"Oh why thank you." Grima appreciated the offer and took a bite, only for the stray piece to fall to the ground.

Chrom gasped in horror, "Grima! What have you done?!"

"I'm a spirit you idiot! Thus I can't have anything physically eaten or what not. Gather your common sense and come to understand why I have TRULY RETURNED!"

"How was your vacation btw?" Chrom quickly changed the subject, eager to know more about the fell dragon's personal life.

"Oh it was shit. The annoying humans from Earth begged me to become thier parade float for the Macy's thanksgiving day parade. In return, I burned down the whole line of Oceanfront beach."

"Wait. You went to Virginia Beach? The same location my daughter resided in with the rest of the AweSomE cast?" Chrom questioned with a hint of shock and confusion.

"You have to hit up a cool party there sometimes." Grima sighed while tilting his Jack Daniels bottle- Newspaper edition.

"Gods dammit. Lucina was right. Virginia Beach sounded like a lot of fun." Chrom quietly commented while ripping a piece of Fishstick from his holy weapon.

Grima laughed non stop, attempting Chrom to scream in fear just like his daughter did when she faced the evil fell dragon.

"Dammit Grima! What's funny all of a sudden!?" Chrom demanded, gripping the hilt tightly so the crusty batter would not easily crumble in two.

A dark ghostly wing wrapped around Chrom's shoulder as Grima calmed down, "Only fools like you make weapons out of food! Oh yes, that should be another headline for my article on page 2!" 

The exalt wasn't amused and thought of the perfect idea for the stupid dragon to appear right in front of him.

"Well, if you love newspapers so much, Grima." Chrom started while grabbing a fryer he got out of nowhere and threw the holy oil on him, "Then why aren't you revealed to the public!?"

"Argh, what the hell!?" Grima was now dripped from snout, wings, and tail as it was the Exalt's turn to laugh non stop. Angered and steaming the oil off of his fellblood body, Grima brought out the spikes again, this time for a stray weapon to intervene and stop the attack. "What!? What in Plegia Times is this supposed to be!?"

"Too late fell dragon. It's time for you to be- Father!? What the hell!?" Lucina whipped around to see Chrom with his pokedex as a poke ball bounced around and rolled toward her feet.

_Grima Fell Dragon Pokemon._

_Strong and devious, this monster has six red eyes and four feathery wings in order to burn and take down Ylisse- and most importantly strike revenge on the current exalt._

_Has a strong desire for newspapers and wishes to build his factory someday in Future Plegia (ex: Ylisse)_

"Bullshit! He'll never attack me cuz now I can do whatever the fuck I want with him!" Chrom smiled in glee as he stacked fishsticks-like dominos in row on his Falchion, being careful not to make the orange treats collapse under his strong balanced grip.

Lucina sighed, "Why did you catch him for Naga's sake!? He's not a pokemon and I don't see why you would train your greatest nemesis for a reason! Who knows? He's going to summon more Risen to get rid of you and the other shepherds- screw that, probably himself more like it. He-"

"I choose you, Grima!" Chrom threw threw the poke ball, making the tool to spit out......

a PLUSHY version of Grima!?

"For Naga's sake, I have never seen a dragon that CUTE before! He looks so much better than Tiki after her appearance in her Divine Dragon form!" Chrom squealed while bringing his knuckles to his mouth in glee. "omfgs, you're gonna be my amazing mascot for Long John Silvers! Come right away, Grima! We shall return to Long John Silvers at once for a fishstick feast."

Glancing at Grima, it said nothing in return and limped it's neck at an awkward angle.

"Your choice!" Chrom continued to talk to the object as he raced down the hallways of the castle and stole his daughter's CRV (the roof currently had a fishstick skinned cargo box attached) and with a screech of tires, he drove away in the heart of the Ylissean evening.

Lucina watched him drive down Hochenstrasse (High street), a look of disbelief and sadness clouded her eyes, "Why father, why?"

* * *

 

**Damn, I love Chrom and his fishticky athiest ways! xD**

**Wanna know Grima's true evolution!?**

**Being- spirit- being- spirit-plushie.**

**Ya, I hope you liked it!**

**Kudos please!**

**Falco276 out! xD**  

 

 

 


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